A little bit of This "n" That

Posts tagged ‘Opinion’

Just say no and be proud.


For years I have always been that person that says yes to everything.  I’ve always been that person that answers their phone as soon as it rings.
I’ve also been that person to automatically reply to your email or text message. I’ve also always been that person that will try to come to everything that you ask me to go too (except letter openings – I’ll leave those to some of the lovely Z List celebrities kicking around Perth).

However, I’ve also discovered that there just aren’t that many people around that take the time to do the same thing in return these days. As we get older we tend to look at prioritizing our lives for the better compared to what we did when we were younger. That was when there definitely was a FOMO before the term FOMO even existed. We were always keen to attempt to  please all the people all the time. So if they don’t do it, then why should I? I guess it was because I felt  obligated to more than anything.

Admittedly, I just don’t have the time or the energy anymore. I’ve realised saying no isn’t a bad thing. You can say No, and nothing else. You don’t have to give a back-up excuse as to why you don’t want to go out, why you didn’t reply automatically to a message, unless it’s a case of life or death then that and if it’s your mum should be the only time you need to be getting back to the person in question.

Rushing around trying to attend every invited event, answer every call and reply to every message can cause your brain to start to melt a little. Worrying about others opinions, dramas and issues WILL indefinitely bring you down.  Setting a high standard of expectations where you believe, just because you do it everyone else should do the same needs to be completely shelved.

In our attempt (well for some of us) to do all the aforementioned, we forget what the real questions here are – Are we happy? Probably not. Are we doing these things and running around after others and validating them because it pleases us? Again, probably not. Is the instant response really what everyone is looking for? Those who break down because you take a few hours to get back to them on a general message need to take some time also to look at what their priorities are.

Just let it out; Be straight-forward and honest with everyone that wants a piece of your time. There is only one of you and your own happiness is the key here.

Be Selfish. I’m really relishing this right now. I make time for those who make time for me. For those who respect that the paths I’m looking to choose are right for me, not for them. Those who the only time that they can really contribute or comment on what I am doing with my time, my career and other life choices should be if it directly affects them. These people will not get offended if I take some time, within reason to reply, because they too understand that our own time is precious and there is just the one of us to go around.

I’m putting this out there really as a note to let you know if I do take my time it’s probably because I’m taking time for myself first, which is the way that it should be.

Body Clock’s a Ticking …


I talk to my Mum every day, when I can. If I miss a day then we end up just having a longer conversation next time.  This week we chatted about our weekends, who we saw and what we did. Pretty standard really.

Once I had hung up the phone, I thought more deeply about the conversation I’d just had with her. My Mum had spent her weekend visiting friends who all have kids around my age.

Who all have their own kids.

The emphasis on other people’s children seemed to be the spotlight in the conversation, along with her telling me that another one of the girls is also looking at trying for a baby. Then the conversation extended to their fertility and how there was a clock ticking for this couple.

The pressure to get married and have children is ongoing.  You constantly feel that you need an answer to all questions about your personal life choices.  The buck doesn’t stop with family and friends either. Recently it has extended to advertisers pitching consumer based products and guilt shaming women about their own personal body clocks. That the choices we didn’t make in our 20’s are now reflective of us being old wrinklies staving the growth of the world population. Along with articles that preach out about women choosing not to go down these paths because their careers are more important.

A general  “I don’t want to have children” Or “I don’t want to get married” still doesn’t suffice to those who can’t seem to keep their noses out of other people’s business. These people are the ones ask you,  “But why don’t you want to get married?” “Why don’t you want to have children?”.  Anyone would think you’ve just bitten the head off a live chicken in front of them by the reaction then received.

Before asking these questions, one good option is to think before opening your mouth. What’s to say that the person you are having the discussion with hasn’t had a termination due to extenuating circumstances, or if in a couple they aren’t financially in a situation that they can foresee making these decisions , or infertility is a key part in why this doesn’t happen. That the response they have just given you is an easier answer than the potentially convoluted option, which would only result in making the  person asking the question feel ridiculously uncomfortable.

Recently while out with two girlfriends they began talking about babies. One has been married for just over 18 months and is currently trying to have children, and the other is in her second trimester of pregnancy.

They told me, “ You would make an amazing mother.” Very flattered that I clearly ooze responsibility and a maternal nature. I just smiled. Then out of nowhere my pregnant friend said, “What about your Mum?”

“What about my mum ?”  Is it part of our life journey to have babies to ensure our own parents fulfillment at becoming grandparents is achieved?

I for one wouldn’t get knocked up just so my parents could have a new plaything.

When did these answers become something that we need to justify to others?

To make matters worse, my life choices now also need to be backed up by my parents.

I feel for my mum, being one of the only ones among her circle of friends to have two single daughters in their thirties, both unmarried and childless. I know that she would make an outstanding Grandmother and at times I believe she would even be happy if either of us at this stage just came out and said that we were expecting.

But the thing I love most about my mum is that she wants us to be happy more than anything in the world and her acceptance of our lifestyle choices is what makes her a great woman.

 

Is Chivalry Dead?


Definition according to the Oxford Dictionary.

 adjective •

(of a man or his behaviour) courteous and gallant, especially towards women. • relating to the historical concept of chivalry.

 The concept of chivalry is bordering along the lines of extinction in my opinion. I don’t expect a man to rock up like a Knight upon a White Steed, lay his coat down over the puddle, after he has executed the dragon and then proceeds to call me M’lady. This does not exist. And in actual fact I’d be a little uncomfortable with this.

Chivalry becoming a rarity isn’t exactly the sole fault of the male species I do believe in some cases us women have become victims of our own behaviour. These behavioural tendencies seem to hinder the title of “Lady” for so many women to obtain. I’m talking about the following not only from my own personal experience but from what I have observed on a day-to-day basis:

 • Excessive Drinking – The occasional wine, beer or spirit is a win. Getting absolutely shit faced, Participating in Beer Pong or Wheel of Goon, falling over because of your total inability of being able to hold your booze, and walking barefoot through the streets of Perth / Northbridge / Mount Lawley / Subiaco – Actually wherever does not exude class – in anyone. (Note: I never take my shoes off. I don’t care how much your feet hurt, if they hurt that much then you should never have worn those shoes out in the first place)

• Taking an interest in Sport – Particularly if you don’t know anything about the sport and only start watching it to impress a bloke. You will get caught out and this also may result in the need for the excessive drinking counterpart so you can wildly stand on a table waving your hands in the air shouting AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE, – OI OI OI or Good Old Collingwood Forever ( if you’re doing the second one most men are going to take an instant wide berth )

 • Flashing your body parts – Again this is normally accompanied by the excessive drinking. Ladies neither myself nor the male population will show you any respect if you insist on flashing your boobs or your Vajayjay , the boys may cheer But they wont look at you as someone they want to take home to mum.

 • Swearing – Yes, Pot – Kettle – Black. I know I swear a bit – well actually a lot, and I need to stop. It’s not pleasant and it definitely isn’t ladylike. I know there are men out there that would tolerate this behaviour – but ladies they have no intention of dating you or marrying you.

Men nowadays have become so used to this kind of behaviour that the need to be chivalrous just doesn’t seem to be there anymore. Women are so keen on being treated as an equal they are basically trying to compete with men in order to receive attention.

My experiences of men in Europe compared to those in Australia are quite different. But then again recently my track record with men hasn’t been that great.

Men who are gentlemen have: Immaculate manners, look after women, hold the door open, pull the chair out, hail a cab when its raining, give you their coat when its cold, Walk you to your doorstep, Call you the next day to make sure you’re got home ok, send flowers for no reason, call to see how your day went . These are the small things that seem to have dropped off slightly.

Germaine Greer kinda screwed us chicks over, along with the Bra Burners of the 60’s and 70’s. Their advocating an empowerment to women has meant that these days the door opening, the cab hailing and coat sharing sometimes gets confused with some sort of “patriarchal control.” ( thanks to a lovely friend for that last term 🙂 )

Ladies, it’s not control.

It’s awesome.

And I myself wish there were more men in the world willing to behave this way. I welcome it with open arms.

A Right to Reply.


Below is the current Facebook Status of quite a few of my Facebook Friends.

Some I have chosen to delete other I have chosen to comment on and a few I have just chosen to ignore.

This is the status that was being posted followed by my right to reply.

“Indonesian Tsunami..Australia gives $1 billion in aid, Pakistan floods..Australia gives $66.5 million in aid. THE WORST floods in Australian history destroys homes, towns, life and businesses…Australian government donates a lazy $1 million.. pull your finger out of your ass Anna Bligh and Gillard start looking after your own, post this to try & make them wake the hell up! Other countries may donate too “

Facebook Friends,

 Both of these situations hit THIRD WORLD countries who physically did not have the funding to help themselves.

We must thank our lucky stars that WE are not a Third World Country who must solely rely on the assistance of other nations to help us in a time of crisis such as the one that we find ourselves currently in.

 With 75% of Queensland classified as a natural Disaster zone ( For those of you in the US this is the ENTIRE  State of Texas and for those of you in the UK – It’s the UK five times over) the extent of the damage clearly cannot be assessed in a dollar value at such an early stage. Our Government have said they are prepared to do whatever it takes to assist the people of Queensland.

Anna Bligh,  has proven herself to be an amazing leader in this time of heartache and disaster and is keeping level-headed in attempting to be a backbone to her state as well as she can.

The Queensland Government itself has only a limited State Budget that can be used in allocation in such dire times. Hence why there is the opportunity to DONATE to the cause of which the last time i looked the tally was over $32 MILLION DOLLARS.

For reference the USA have offered us assistance.

Please check these things before posting this kind of status. Instead, try posting a link on how people can actually help would be more proactive and positive thing to do.

In addition just for this blog – If you would like to assist victims of the Queensland Floods please click on the link below and donate – Every Little Helps.

http://www.qld.gov.au/

Plus Size Propaganda


Do you want to know something that really grinds my gears?

This is it.

The “Plus Size” Debate when it comes down to women and dress sizes.

 On Wednesday the 28th of July Perth Fashion Festival had their launch and also disclosed that they will be showcasing “Real” women at the Festival this year.

 This is super fantastic news. Yes, it is I applaud the organisers of Perth Fashion Festival for acknowledging that women are not a size 6 built with no breasts, arse or random cottage cheese dimpling. I myself am looking forward to hopefully being able to be part of the audience for this Every Body Counts Event.

But on the other hand I am disgusted at a size 14 being called a Plus Size.

 FYI People. I go between a Size 12 and a Size 14.  I am 5’8 in height and within the BMI of a healthy body weight comparison. This does not make me Plus Size.

I am your standard average body size, I am not overweight and my body image is one that down the line I hope if I do ever have children they will know that it is normal. Not this bull shit size 4 -6 look that apparently has to be carried on everywhere.

It appears that the women who aren’t in the normal category ( or Plus size as they like to call it) are the ones that tell us beautiful women that we are a plus size, that we are unhealthy and they we are not up to the mark in being able to portray a good body image to young women today.

I personally would rather be held responsible for someone who is a little curvier – not overweight – get it right, – Than for the person who is now in a hospital being treated with anorexia or bulimia because she believed that being a size 4 was more important.

It is unfortunate that there are Fashion Designers out there like Alex Perry who is in my opinion a pig of a man for even suggesting that a size 12 is fat and that we would never use a model in our normal body weight. Alex Perry, I’ve seen some of your clothes and to be honest they ain’t all that anyway.

Furthermore what annoys me is journalists, and writers who carry on about this exact subject but have no understanding of it and just write about it because they think they Know what they are talking about, but let me tell you when they are sitting there writing out their article they aren’t eating a well prepped dinner or lunch or even having a cheeky piece of cake with their arvo cuppa. They are probably sitting there trying to work out how many calories are in their next glass of low fat water or some shit  so their image doesn’t widen beyond a size eight God Forbid. Seriously Ladies Here’s $2 go out and get a cheeseburger or something.

Plus Size does exist.

Yes it does but in reality, a plus size is that above the average dress size.

But in the World of Fashion a plus size is anything over some ability of being able to pass off as a stick figure.

Hold My Tongue?


Freedom of speech is the freedom to speak without censorship or limitation, or both. The synonymous term freedom of expression is sometimes used to indicate not only freedom of verbal speech but any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used. In practice, the right to freedom of speech is not absolute in any country and the right is commonly subject to limitations, such as on “hate speech“.

The right to freedom of speech is recognized as a human right under Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and recognized in international human rights law in the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR). The ICCPR recognizes the right to freedom of speech as “the right to hold opinions without interference. Everyone shall have the right to freedom of expression”. Furthermore freedom of speech is recognized in European, inter-American and African regional human rights law. (Web Reference Definition)

OPINION – NOUN

1. A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof: “The world is not run by thought, nor by imagination, but by opinion” (Elizabeth Drew).

2. A judgment based on special knowledge and given by an expert: a medical opinion.

3. A judgment or estimation of the merit of a person or thing: has a low opinion of braggarts.

4. The prevailing view: public opinion.

5. Law A formal statement by a court or other adjudicative body of the legal reasons and principles for the conclusions of the court.

(Sourced Oxford English Dictionary)

Basically I can have my freedom of speech without converging it into hate speech, this my friends is my understanding.

Every single person has the right to express their opinion. This is the thing, it’s their OPINION. It doesn’t necessarily need to be right; their opinion does not have to be in agreeance with yours, this is why it’s an opinion. It does not have to be substantiated through proof or fact.

I can say to you “ In my opinion that orange is Blue” You may think I have overtaken my daily LSD allowance and then add that “It is in FACT orange” which clearly stats two different ideas, Mine is my opinion and not necessarily  the truth , yours on the other hand is fact and can be backed up.

Yes I know it’s a shit example but you get my drift.

Too many times we find ourselves in a situation that we express our opinions and feelings openly, which yes is our choice, only to find that others take it personally or find it offensive.

If you don’t like me or my views then that’s your opinion, and fine you can have that opinion, just as much as I may not agree with you on topics that you feel strong about.

If I got offended at EVERYTHING that was said to me or I read or I took everything personally as a personal attack on me I would be a sad wretched excuse of a person living in a cardboard box with no communication whatsoever.

 Making a generalised statement about a subject at times leaves us all open to insult, argument, backhandedness, childish behaviours etc, but it appears this is what creates parts of the human persona.

 At no point in time have I ever expressed any form of Hate Speech, hate speech for those of you asking is, outside the law, any communication including direct or indirect which disparages a person or a group on the basis of some characteristic such as race or sexual orientation.

If this was the case then you would have found me signed up to the KKK in the Deep South, with a swastika tattooed on my left butt cheek.

Sometimes you need to stand up and be the better person in a situation, everyone can have their opinion, Get over it leave them to it and walk away.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are wrong or they are wrong, because at the end of the day what you are expressing is your opinion, it just means that you have to allow everyone to have the same right to express themselves as you.

And by the way this Blog is my OPINION. If you take offence to it and think it’s about you, well last time I checked I wasn’t Carly Simon and no this Blog is not about you.