A little bit of This "n" That

Posts tagged ‘Friendship’

Just say no and be proud.

For years I have always been that person that says yes to everything.  I’ve always been that person that answers their phone as soon as it rings.
I’ve also been that person to automatically reply to your email or text message. I’ve also always been that person that will try to come to everything that you ask me to go too (except letter openings – I’ll leave those to some of the lovely Z List celebrities kicking around Perth).

However, I’ve also discovered that there just aren’t that many people around that take the time to do the same thing in return these days. As we get older we tend to look at prioritizing our lives for the better compared to what we did when we were younger. That was when there definitely was a FOMO before the term FOMO even existed. We were always keen to attempt to  please all the people all the time. So if they don’t do it, then why should I? I guess it was because I felt  obligated to more than anything.

Admittedly, I just don’t have the time or the energy anymore. I’ve realised saying no isn’t a bad thing. You can say No, and nothing else. You don’t have to give a back-up excuse as to why you don’t want to go out, why you didn’t reply automatically to a message, unless it’s a case of life or death then that and if it’s your mum should be the only time you need to be getting back to the person in question.

Rushing around trying to attend every invited event, answer every call and reply to every message can cause your brain to start to melt a little. Worrying about others opinions, dramas and issues WILL indefinitely bring you down.  Setting a high standard of expectations where you believe, just because you do it everyone else should do the same needs to be completely shelved.

In our attempt (well for some of us) to do all the aforementioned, we forget what the real questions here are – Are we happy? Probably not. Are we doing these things and running around after others and validating them because it pleases us? Again, probably not. Is the instant response really what everyone is looking for? Those who break down because you take a few hours to get back to them on a general message need to take some time also to look at what their priorities are.

Just let it out; Be straight-forward and honest with everyone that wants a piece of your time. There is only one of you and your own happiness is the key here.

Be Selfish. I’m really relishing this right now. I make time for those who make time for me. For those who respect that the paths I’m looking to choose are right for me, not for them. Those who the only time that they can really contribute or comment on what I am doing with my time, my career and other life choices should be if it directly affects them. These people will not get offended if I take some time, within reason to reply, because they too understand that our own time is precious and there is just the one of us to go around.

I’m putting this out there really as a note to let you know if I do take my time it’s probably because I’m taking time for myself first, which is the way that it should be.


The Singleton

This time last year I was in a Relationship.

Six months later I was turning Thirty thinking my world was ending and I was single.
Another six months on I’m still single, with a few hiccups in between (Actually they may have been bordeline of burps) BUT its ok.

The thing that isn’t ok is that the rest of my single friends seem to be dropping like flies.
Seriously, someone got a human version of Mortein (otherwise known as MAN) sprayed it around a bit and whacked a few of the coolest single chick friends I have smack bang around the head.

I may have been a contributing factor – Yes, if you have single chick friends you also have single bloke friends and inevitably they will meet each other and they will end up seeing each other.
But suddenly you end up having them grouped into the same classification as the other friends who are in relationships or are married or have kids. You end up only seeing them when they are together, this limits the conversations that you would normally have and also limits what you used to do.
No more hanging out down the pub checking out that cute dude’s butt when he walks past or having a good wingwoman to deal with “The Friend” whilst you talk to the one that is actually interesting. A Girl’s night becomes overshadowed with text messages and phonecalls to the significant other and the 4am’ers turn into “Shit its Twelve O’clock, I need to go home”.

Dont get me wrong, Im extremely happy for these ladies – more so for the fact that they deserve the happiness because of the shit they’ve been put through from previous dickheads who cant even be put into the classification of “Being a Man”.

But I go through a spate in time when I miss that. When I moved back from the UK, I had to rebuild my life get to know people again and start anew, those people then continued with the circle of life got married and started breeding, so I had to find more people to hang with, now that circle is beginning again and Im onto my third cycle.

Im trying to work out if its because Im super picky (Which to be honest, from recent experiences I really have dropped my game) or demand too much.
I like to think Im a pretty good catch, I can cook, clean, I like to watch a good game of Rugby, AFL and Football ( Soccer to those of you who are sport inept), I can handle a drink or two, Im well travelled, I have a rather ace job and the best bit …. Im a good spooner.

Then again I think I may just be having too much of a good time and the possibility of falling into that circle hasn’t been able to interject itself into my daily planner.

I know good things come to those who wait, for the meantime I’ll wait for it to come to me whilst I sip my red wine, don my Uggs and convert my verbal diarrhoea to this blog.

You’ve Got The Love..

This past week has basically been extremely crapola . Like I’m talking SUPER crapola, Remember thethe discussion with my mum  : “Shit happens but nobody expects Diarrhoea “.

I seriously copped the Diarrhoea this week.

Lucky for me I have some pretty amazingly awesome Friends and Family who have been my rock . Also there have been people who haven’t even known me for very long but they too have been gunning for me as well.

This song is for them , and if you feel like it crank it.


Office Conversations

Work Colleague 1 : “Oh, I have lots of Male friends who I go out with”

Work Colleague 2: “Oh yeah, my girlfriend does as well, but she doesn’t really ever go out with them”

Me : “I have quite a few male friends, but I dont really go out with them anymore.”

Work Colleague 1 : ” Why’s that?”

Me : ” Because their wives don’t like me.”

Girl Conversations 1.

Every now and then I’ve decided im going to post some of the Girl Conversations I end up having – Whether they be brief or long – So like a box of chocolates you won’t know what you’ll be getting, until you take the lid off.

Friday Night resulted in me heading over to a very close friends house straight after work for a quiet drink and a quick catch up. This ended up with us being slightly intoxicated and spending most of the evening gossiping and laughing – the laughter was nearly to the point of us crying.

Another mutual friend came over and one of the conversations that tickled my ribs slightly was this next one in a mini version.

Me to Friend 1 – ” Sooooo, you’ll never guess who came over to my place the other night?”

Friend 1 – “Who?”

Me – “The Bad Boy”( this is the name we are referring to him as just for the blog)

Friend 1 – “Hrrmmm – Next Subject.”

Friend 2 – ” So does this mean we are sleeping with him?”

Friend 1 – ” Us? Collectively? – No. No it doesn’t”

Me – “Oh dear”

FOS – Friends of the Opposite Sex

Can men and women be “just friends,” or is sexual attraction between the sexes always inevitable?

This is a question that appears to be continually asked and answered on a multitude of different platforms throughout the generations.

I myself always used to believe that guys and gals could be just friends, mainly because I have some considerably firm and long lasting friendships with some rather cool guys. 

That ideal was held with quiet a few of the other Peter Pan beliefs that I had in my life up until recently and on numerous occasions other people have made a point of saying that NO men and women cannot be platonic friends without some sort of indication towards a sexual attraction.

You will find there are several different groups of the Friends of the Opposite Sex These all have different situations for everyone, I’m just making an observation from things I’ve heard, experienced and seen:

A)      Life Buddies Friendships

Guys and Girls who are both single and have been mates for years. Mates like Brother and sisters mates and nothing more. This friendship is normally the best example of a FOS relationship. (Sometimes harder than gold dust to find)

B)      Her and the Married Man Friendship

Guys who are married or in a LTR and Girls who are single being mates.

Hrm Dodgy line to cross. Unless the Wife / GF  is pretty laid back  and doesn’t mind the two of you going out on the lash until 4 in the morning  together, without her …… Yeah Trust me from personal experience this one doesn’t really work. It’s only going to end in tears even if the friendship was always platonic.

C)     Taken Women and Single Blokes

            Girls who are married or in a LTR and Guys who are single mates.

      This is basically a rarity only for the fact that the  Husband / BF knows what he was like when he was single and sees that in the guy who his Mrs is friends with. That dude ain’t ever gonna let you go out drinking with his woman. Accept Defeat in this case.

D)     Ex Friendships

Girls and Guys who used to be in a relationship together and are now friends.

This I don’t get. The dude has seen you naked. Knows all your ugly bits and beautiful bits and you cant be together in a relationship but you can be friends. Also this means you are friends with them when they meet someone new.  Yeah. Nah.  When it’s over. Finish it off like a bandaid and don’t go getting the Dettol to fix it. This kinda friendship is like the Dettol. It disinfects, wipes clean the past but it doesn’t make it better for long.

E)       Gay Friendships.

Blatantly I love these.  If one of the friends in the Friendship is attracted to the same sex you’re basically ok and you will never be referred to as a home wrecker or a whore. Plus the double bonus is they won’t ever hit on you.

But then you know we are all adults and our decisions and our friendships are our own Choices. I’m not telling you who you can be friends with, I’m just merely making an observation.

But I wonder how many of you out there have had problems when it came to your FOS and how many of your FOS relationships changed due to your relationship status with someone else.

Friendships Circles

I have discovered in my 29 years upon this earth that every friendship I have ever had revolves around in a circle, and there are times when this circle ceases to exist.

I have come to realise that I have an enormous amount of friends – But in reality I dont really know if 
I honestly  “know” these people and if  I choose to call them my friends or are they just people that I happen to know through someone else who happens to know someone else etc etc.  

You realise that not every friendship you have is built to last forever, and not everyone is in the friendship because they just want to be friends with you. In recent years Ive discovered that some friendships are created due to someone else finding it beneficial to be friends with you whether its because they want to know someone you know, they want to get in with that hot chick  / guy that you happen to be friends with or you have connections that are beneficial to their business and they use you for progression or just general social integration.

Backstabbing, Undercutting and Jealousy are not qualities I look for in a friend, but it appears that slowly people I know happen to have acquired these.

In recent  times I myself have been called many of the above and more but this is based on what people have heard from one side of the story, rather  than presenting you with the opportunity to voice your opinion and give your truths as well.

Me writing this does not put an emphasis on just one person but it is a generalisation from my experiences in the big bad world in the time that I have happened to lived upon it.

Not everyone is as they appear.  I have always tried to see everyone in black and white, but as a wise friend of mine told me not so long ago you have to realise that people are also made up with a smattering of grey and sometimes you have to accept that.  And so it appears that, that rainbow I  was hoping for  full of colour has to have a covering of grey in order for me to fit into the current state of affairs.

Ill try but then again there is only a certain amount of time that you can be willing to be a sheep and go with what everyone else expects.