A little bit of This "n" That

Posts tagged ‘Friends’

Just say no and be proud.

For years I have always been that person that says yes to everything.  I’ve always been that person that answers their phone as soon as it rings.
I’ve also been that person to automatically reply to your email or text message. I’ve also always been that person that will try to come to everything that you ask me to go too (except letter openings – I’ll leave those to some of the lovely Z List celebrities kicking around Perth).

However, I’ve also discovered that there just aren’t that many people around that take the time to do the same thing in return these days. As we get older we tend to look at prioritizing our lives for the better compared to what we did when we were younger. That was when there definitely was a FOMO before the term FOMO even existed. We were always keen to attempt to  please all the people all the time. So if they don’t do it, then why should I? I guess it was because I felt  obligated to more than anything.

Admittedly, I just don’t have the time or the energy anymore. I’ve realised saying no isn’t a bad thing. You can say No, and nothing else. You don’t have to give a back-up excuse as to why you don’t want to go out, why you didn’t reply automatically to a message, unless it’s a case of life or death then that and if it’s your mum should be the only time you need to be getting back to the person in question.

Rushing around trying to attend every invited event, answer every call and reply to every message can cause your brain to start to melt a little. Worrying about others opinions, dramas and issues WILL indefinitely bring you down.  Setting a high standard of expectations where you believe, just because you do it everyone else should do the same needs to be completely shelved.

In our attempt (well for some of us) to do all the aforementioned, we forget what the real questions here are – Are we happy? Probably not. Are we doing these things and running around after others and validating them because it pleases us? Again, probably not. Is the instant response really what everyone is looking for? Those who break down because you take a few hours to get back to them on a general message need to take some time also to look at what their priorities are.

Just let it out; Be straight-forward and honest with everyone that wants a piece of your time. There is only one of you and your own happiness is the key here.

Be Selfish. I’m really relishing this right now. I make time for those who make time for me. For those who respect that the paths I’m looking to choose are right for me, not for them. Those who the only time that they can really contribute or comment on what I am doing with my time, my career and other life choices should be if it directly affects them. These people will not get offended if I take some time, within reason to reply, because they too understand that our own time is precious and there is just the one of us to go around.

I’m putting this out there really as a note to let you know if I do take my time it’s probably because I’m taking time for myself first, which is the way that it should be.


I’m Ok Now ….

In Australia, Today is “R U OK” Day.

The idea behind it is to ask your friends family and those that you show concern for if they really “Are OK” and to prevent the onset of suicide when people havent the ability to reach out and ask for help.

I personally have never been in a situation where the thought of taking my own life has been the only answer to solve the demons that I’ve had. I’ve also had the benefit of my friends and family seeing that I haven’t been myself and have given me the support to see a professional which meant that the Depression and Anxiety that I was diagnosed with last year had a chance to be treated, But just because you are being treated or have had that help it still doesn’t make it disappear completely.

Suicide has occurred four times in my family where my relatives were struck down so badly with their mental health problems they couldn’t see any other way out and were unable to seek help, which is heartbreaking. Suicide is a selfish way to end your life, leaving behind those who are racked with guilt over what should have been and what might have been if they had known the signs.

“R U Ok” Day brings the topic to the forefront of discussion and creates an awareness that for one day of the year opens up our hearts and minds to the behaviorism of those around us.

Remember though, people experiencing these dark thoughts and hard times don’t just experience them on one day of the year. They battle with Mental Health everyday and constantly need to be asked if they are ok. Sometimes they may say “I am OK”, but at other times the answer they give you may be “No, I’m not.” Make sure by asking that you are willing to take on that answer and give the support that you have offered by mentioning those three words.

Just because a person appears to be a ray of light, it may also mean they might be hiding behind the dark.

The Singleton

This time last year I was in a Relationship.

Six months later I was turning Thirty thinking my world was ending and I was single.
Another six months on I’m still single, with a few hiccups in between (Actually they may have been bordeline of burps) BUT its ok.

The thing that isn’t ok is that the rest of my single friends seem to be dropping like flies.
Seriously, someone got a human version of Mortein (otherwise known as MAN) sprayed it around a bit and whacked a few of the coolest single chick friends I have smack bang around the head.

I may have been a contributing factor – Yes, if you have single chick friends you also have single bloke friends and inevitably they will meet each other and they will end up seeing each other.
But suddenly you end up having them grouped into the same classification as the other friends who are in relationships or are married or have kids. You end up only seeing them when they are together, this limits the conversations that you would normally have and also limits what you used to do.
No more hanging out down the pub checking out that cute dude’s butt when he walks past or having a good wingwoman to deal with “The Friend” whilst you talk to the one that is actually interesting. A Girl’s night becomes overshadowed with text messages and phonecalls to the significant other and the 4am’ers turn into “Shit its Twelve O’clock, I need to go home”.

Dont get me wrong, Im extremely happy for these ladies – more so for the fact that they deserve the happiness because of the shit they’ve been put through from previous dickheads who cant even be put into the classification of “Being a Man”.

But I go through a spate in time when I miss that. When I moved back from the UK, I had to rebuild my life get to know people again and start anew, those people then continued with the circle of life got married and started breeding, so I had to find more people to hang with, now that circle is beginning again and Im onto my third cycle.

Im trying to work out if its because Im super picky (Which to be honest, from recent experiences I really have dropped my game) or demand too much.
I like to think Im a pretty good catch, I can cook, clean, I like to watch a good game of Rugby, AFL and Football ( Soccer to those of you who are sport inept), I can handle a drink or two, Im well travelled, I have a rather ace job and the best bit …. Im a good spooner.

Then again I think I may just be having too much of a good time and the possibility of falling into that circle hasn’t been able to interject itself into my daily planner.

I know good things come to those who wait, for the meantime I’ll wait for it to come to me whilst I sip my red wine, don my Uggs and convert my verbal diarrhoea to this blog.

Office Conversations

Work Colleague 1 : “Oh, I have lots of Male friends who I go out with”

Work Colleague 2: “Oh yeah, my girlfriend does as well, but she doesn’t really ever go out with them”

Me : “I have quite a few male friends, but I dont really go out with them anymore.”

Work Colleague 1 : ” Why’s that?”

Me : ” Because their wives don’t like me.”

Girl Conversations 2

Elizabeth Taylor died yesterday.

I had two friends over last night  over for wine when we found out, the conversation went like this :

Me: “OH Elizabeth Taylor Died”

Friend 1 :  “Oh really? At least she will be with Michael Jackson now.”

Friend 1: “Talking about dead people, Isn’t Zsa Zsa Gabor dead too? “

Me : “No, She’s alive and …… well not kicking as she only has one leg”.

Day 3. A Picture of your friends ..

Ok so sorry had gotten a little preoccupied with bits and pieces and neglected the awesomeness of the 30 Day challenge.

I know .

But im back and this is grand im posting a few pictures of my friends.

I have ALOT of friends. I have amazing friends here in Perth, and just as amazing friends in different spots all over the world. I love the all very much and i cant post pictures of all of them on here becuase you would be sitting staring forevers! So there are just a few that I love a lot.

These are my two best friends Me, Tina and Christine. Tina and I have been friends since we were 5. Ive been friends with christine since we were 12. The Three of us are inseparable. I love them alot and they have helped through a hell of a lot of rubbish as well as us spending some of the best times of our lives together.


The Boys. Four of my top Bloke Mates Back in England. John, George, Paul and ……… wait for it ……. Joe. ;P This photo was taken at George’s Wedding and two months before I left these crazy kids behind in the great big wonderful world of Pom Land I miss them heaps.

My Beautiful Friend Yvonne. We’ve been friends since we were 13 Ive always thought of her as my own personal corruptor. In a Good way 🙂

So Ive only posted three photos. But we still have many more days to go and a few more post pictures of you and your friends days  soo I think this is enough posting of me with other people for the day

Until tomorrow my little poppets.


FOS – Friends of the Opposite Sex

Can men and women be “just friends,” or is sexual attraction between the sexes always inevitable?

This is a question that appears to be continually asked and answered on a multitude of different platforms throughout the generations.

I myself always used to believe that guys and gals could be just friends, mainly because I have some considerably firm and long lasting friendships with some rather cool guys. 

That ideal was held with quiet a few of the other Peter Pan beliefs that I had in my life up until recently and on numerous occasions other people have made a point of saying that NO men and women cannot be platonic friends without some sort of indication towards a sexual attraction.

You will find there are several different groups of the Friends of the Opposite Sex These all have different situations for everyone, I’m just making an observation from things I’ve heard, experienced and seen:

A)      Life Buddies Friendships

Guys and Girls who are both single and have been mates for years. Mates like Brother and sisters mates and nothing more. This friendship is normally the best example of a FOS relationship. (Sometimes harder than gold dust to find)

B)      Her and the Married Man Friendship

Guys who are married or in a LTR and Girls who are single being mates.

Hrm Dodgy line to cross. Unless the Wife / GF  is pretty laid back  and doesn’t mind the two of you going out on the lash until 4 in the morning  together, without her …… Yeah Trust me from personal experience this one doesn’t really work. It’s only going to end in tears even if the friendship was always platonic.

C)     Taken Women and Single Blokes

            Girls who are married or in a LTR and Guys who are single mates.

      This is basically a rarity only for the fact that the  Husband / BF knows what he was like when he was single and sees that in the guy who his Mrs is friends with. That dude ain’t ever gonna let you go out drinking with his woman. Accept Defeat in this case.

D)     Ex Friendships

Girls and Guys who used to be in a relationship together and are now friends.

This I don’t get. The dude has seen you naked. Knows all your ugly bits and beautiful bits and you cant be together in a relationship but you can be friends. Also this means you are friends with them when they meet someone new.  Yeah. Nah.  When it’s over. Finish it off like a bandaid and don’t go getting the Dettol to fix it. This kinda friendship is like the Dettol. It disinfects, wipes clean the past but it doesn’t make it better for long.

E)       Gay Friendships.

Blatantly I love these.  If one of the friends in the Friendship is attracted to the same sex you’re basically ok and you will never be referred to as a home wrecker or a whore. Plus the double bonus is they won’t ever hit on you.

But then you know we are all adults and our decisions and our friendships are our own Choices. I’m not telling you who you can be friends with, I’m just merely making an observation.

But I wonder how many of you out there have had problems when it came to your FOS and how many of your FOS relationships changed due to your relationship status with someone else.