A little bit of This "n" That

Posts tagged ‘Drinking’

New Years Resolutions Schmezolutions ..


1. Lose Weight

2. Stop Smoking

3. Stop Drinking

4.  Become Financially stable

5. Stay away from undesirable male persons.

The List  could go on.  Also ignore the above list. I am.

Also before you continue and correct my disrespect for the English Language I know I made up Schmezolutions , Im hoping it catches on for Twenty One Two (HOW SICK OF THAT ARE YOU ALREADY FOR GODS SAKE!) .

So many people see the New Year as a time to wipe the slate clean, have a fresh start, Buck up their ideas and get their shit together, I think its grand they do that each to their own . But I refuse to.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not raining on your parade if you’re one of the New Year’s Resolution Hoarders, But how often do we make these resolutions and then never follow through.

I’ve seen it.

I’ve seen the unused hired out Gym Equipment in apartments that not even a fucking Gerbil should be living in, let alone a couple who feel the need to consume cardboard flavoured cereal with a side of stomach bacteria accomapanied by a decafe weak soy latte with a splash of wheat grass. These remain untouched and in reality only make for the creation of amusing Youtube clips of the cat  running on it at full speed.

I’ve also seen the now “Non-Smokers” sneak around the corner and say ” Go on don’t tell anyone” then expect you the person who made the RIGHT decision (Even if it was for the sanity of others around you)  to ‘Bum’ them a cigarette.

ALCOHOL. WINE. BEER. VODKA. SCOTCH and GIN, To name a few. The Devil in Disguise is always going to get you. Especially if your one of “those” people who go out for  a ‘Quiet’ drink and the next day find some hairy backed mammoth in your bed, bruises in unexplainable  regions on your person and a pool of what can only be described as LAST NIGHTS KEBAB or something similar on your bathroom floor. Maybe quitting isn’t for you, how about trying out the term Moderation before you practise the art of Quitting.

Saving money is a serious Art form . I am incapable of doing this. If you can do this I applaud you. If you are male and can do this , I double applaud you.  I also want your phone number ……

Last Point MALE DOUCHEBAGS . There are so many to choose from, I’ve been there and done that as you are all well aware and so many of my Girlfriends have, along with the Blokes who go out with the Female equivalant.

It’s always going to happen. You can’t make a resolution to avoid  rubbish members of the opposite sex.

You have to kiss a lot of Frogs to find a prince.

So there will be no New Year Resolutions from me this year.

Just More Blogging.

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My Bloody Valentine.


 

                                                                  

Oh, It’s that time of year again.

Valentines Day.

A day where you should over pamper, spoil, devote and display your affections of LOVE to that amazing one person.

It seems I’m not falling into that classification this year.

Yes, you point out that I’m single therefore I may be slightly bitter and not that wrapped up in the whole idea.

You are slightly correct.

But I’m not bitter. I just don’t get too wrapped up in the idea.

 If I receive anything on Valentine’s Day it does make me smile, but I do see it as a large excuse for over consumerism and a manipulative and shallow interpretation for a day that really should be rather romantic.

 I have scored some pretty cool gifts in the past and have had some great Valentines Days, but I have always stipulated to the boy at the time that it isn’t such a big deal, and if you have to take the time to say “I LOVE YOU” to me on that one day of the year – What’s going on with the other 364 days?

 Last year I didn’t expect anything, after two months together with ‘He Who Shall Not Be Named,’ I was actually spending the day at two family members birthdays. The first was a Dinosaur party in the morning for my cousin who was turning Five. The second party was in the afternoon for my other cousin who was turning One (The sugar I consumed that day was marvellous).

 Upon my return home, it was rather dark and I was particularly tired I got home entered the house and collapsed on the couch. After about five minutes I received a phone call ( See I had him well-trained – PHONE CALL  ) asking me if I was at home and could he come over.  He rocked up half an hour later, I opened the door and he just stood there, I glanced up to the left of the front door and saw that stuck to it with gaffa tape was a particularly large bunch of flowers. I asked him – “Oh, how lovely did you just put those there?” to which his reply was “No, I came over this afternoon to surprise you , you weren’t home so I dug around in my pockets found the tape and stuck them to the door knowing that you would find them when you got home”

 Awkward Turtle moment right there.

 2009 saw me spending the day with a large group of friends watching the Rugby at ME Stadium, going to an all night party with all the Rugby players and then having to work the next day with the hangover from hell, the excessive tiredness ensued that I may or may not have fallen asleep in the toilets at the Casino.

 Ok So I went a little off tangent right then but thought you might like to know about my most recent experiences of Valentines Day.

 The hype of the day finally arrives, Roses cost quadruple the price of what they will be on February 15th, Restaurants feel that they can increase the price of some dodgy three course meal just because they add a glass of Champers to the set menu ( Which in most cases is a glass of cheap Cava), The soft toy industry is compelled to try and make you buy a Bear  that has a heart attached to it and says ‘Be Mine” or for those who feel a little bit sexually emotive a devil  with “ I’m your Horny Devil” and then there is the naff “Book of Love” that crops up in you local Print medium, Just take your pick – “Dear Fluffy, You can butter my muffin always , Love Schnookums”.

 I was going to post a few more but the ones I found slowly made me want to vomit in my mouth so I refrained from including  you in on the experience.

After all of this the hype dies off, and those who are in relationships and got Sweet F.A are left wondering should I be with this person if they don’t even acknowledge our love on Valentines Day?

My answer for you is this. That person has seen the stupidity and commercialism that surrounds Valentines Day and decides it’s not really for them. But I reckon they are the ones that tell you everyday how much they love you and they definitely don’t need one day of the year to have to express their love and devotion to you.

 Valentines Day – Don’t Believe the Hype.

Is Chivalry Dead?


Definition according to the Oxford Dictionary.

 adjective •

(of a man or his behaviour) courteous and gallant, especially towards women. • relating to the historical concept of chivalry.

 The concept of chivalry is bordering along the lines of extinction in my opinion. I don’t expect a man to rock up like a Knight upon a White Steed, lay his coat down over the puddle, after he has executed the dragon and then proceeds to call me M’lady. This does not exist. And in actual fact I’d be a little uncomfortable with this.

Chivalry becoming a rarity isn’t exactly the sole fault of the male species I do believe in some cases us women have become victims of our own behaviour. These behavioural tendencies seem to hinder the title of “Lady” for so many women to obtain. I’m talking about the following not only from my own personal experience but from what I have observed on a day-to-day basis:

 • Excessive Drinking – The occasional wine, beer or spirit is a win. Getting absolutely shit faced, Participating in Beer Pong or Wheel of Goon, falling over because of your total inability of being able to hold your booze, and walking barefoot through the streets of Perth / Northbridge / Mount Lawley / Subiaco – Actually wherever does not exude class – in anyone. (Note: I never take my shoes off. I don’t care how much your feet hurt, if they hurt that much then you should never have worn those shoes out in the first place)

• Taking an interest in Sport – Particularly if you don’t know anything about the sport and only start watching it to impress a bloke. You will get caught out and this also may result in the need for the excessive drinking counterpart so you can wildly stand on a table waving your hands in the air shouting AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE, – OI OI OI or Good Old Collingwood Forever ( if you’re doing the second one most men are going to take an instant wide berth )

 • Flashing your body parts – Again this is normally accompanied by the excessive drinking. Ladies neither myself nor the male population will show you any respect if you insist on flashing your boobs or your Vajayjay , the boys may cheer But they wont look at you as someone they want to take home to mum.

 • Swearing – Yes, Pot – Kettle – Black. I know I swear a bit – well actually a lot, and I need to stop. It’s not pleasant and it definitely isn’t ladylike. I know there are men out there that would tolerate this behaviour – but ladies they have no intention of dating you or marrying you.

Men nowadays have become so used to this kind of behaviour that the need to be chivalrous just doesn’t seem to be there anymore. Women are so keen on being treated as an equal they are basically trying to compete with men in order to receive attention.

My experiences of men in Europe compared to those in Australia are quite different. But then again recently my track record with men hasn’t been that great.

Men who are gentlemen have: Immaculate manners, look after women, hold the door open, pull the chair out, hail a cab when its raining, give you their coat when its cold, Walk you to your doorstep, Call you the next day to make sure you’re got home ok, send flowers for no reason, call to see how your day went . These are the small things that seem to have dropped off slightly.

Germaine Greer kinda screwed us chicks over, along with the Bra Burners of the 60’s and 70’s. Their advocating an empowerment to women has meant that these days the door opening, the cab hailing and coat sharing sometimes gets confused with some sort of “patriarchal control.” ( thanks to a lovely friend for that last term 🙂 )

Ladies, it’s not control.

It’s awesome.

And I myself wish there were more men in the world willing to behave this way. I welcome it with open arms.