A little bit of This "n" That

Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

#Calloutaperve


There are a lot of things I’m pretty fed up with lately, I’m sure I could run a huge list and many of you would probably agree. However, the worst of the lot is the self-entitlement I have recently come across from men who appear to think it’s O.K to grope a woman in a public space.

This happened to me numerous times in two different venues, just this weekend alone. Before you question what I was wearing I suggest you take a minute to think about that and then keep your mouth firmly shut. What a woman wears doesn’t act as an open invitation for anyone to think they have the right to touch someone else. (I actually can’t believe I had to write this here, but y’know there are some people, who just won’t get it.)

Yes, I was drinking which is normally what a majority of the population do when they go out to a bar on a weekend.  Yes, they were alcoholic beverages because I do like to have a drink. Not that it should make a difference anyway.

Too many men get away with a brush of a boob, a slap on the ass, or even a hefty handed grope. This is not attractive, it’s not flattering it’s downright disrespectful, patronizing and shameful behavior. I’m trying to work out what goes through these clowns heads to think this is even remotely acceptable. As a society we still have not progressed any further from this caveman attitude of “A woman belongs to a man, so therefore I can grab you and suddenly you will become mine.” We cannot blame this on booze either, the men that do believe this is acceptable behavior already have this ridiculous preconception set well within their ideals and unfortunately these are the very same men we will never be able to change.

For me however, I’ve had enough. I should not have to stand and lie that I’m in a relationship to have a man leave me alone, to fend off unwanted attention. I should not have to walk away and just laugh it off because you think it’s all a bit of fun and a joke. I will and I did humiliate these men and do it loud enough for anyone and everyone within the nearby vicinity where the assault, yes it is assault – you touch me without my consent can hear what is happening. I will call your sleazy, good for nothing ass out on it, and make an example of you.

Perhaps we should use the #Spellcheckaracist hashtag as an example and implement our own instead along the lines of #Calloutaperve

Dear Betts Shoes


Today I received an email from Betts Shoes of which in the subject line was the following :

Dear Michelle, Say “I Do” in the perfect pair of shoes.

I posted the below on their Facebook page.

Dear Betts Shoes.

I’m writing to you on here as I am unable to reply to your automated newsletter in email format that I just received. Primarily about how you really need to re-engage with your consumers, including working on your demographic when sending out Marketing emails that are clearly outlined for specific individuals in mind.

This brings us to basic PR 101 – “Know Your Target Market” Which I hate to tell you, but you failed. As a single woman, receiving and email where in the subject line it reads “Michelle Say “I Do’ in the perfect pair of shoes, I’m offended.

Your email marketing strategy presumes that everyone in your email list is getting married.

What if I were Gay ? You do know Betts Shoes, that under Australian Legislation Gay Marriage is Illegal, but then again you could send out an email about Glitter shoes and that might make me feel better.

What if my Partner had just died?  Tough luck so it seems from your end, and also I’d be pretty stuffed as your selection of all black shoes for the funeral just really doesn’t measure up anyway.

What if I just got divorced? Actually I’d either be celebrating or I’d burst into tears because the thought of marriage would just make me ugly cry (Actually you could then send the glitter shoes email to me as well).

What if I were single? This is not a What If? This is the case, I am single, I’m not in a relationship and I’m not getting married.

Do yourself a favour – get someone in who knows a little bit about marketing, and not isolating your key consumer base rather than someone who only knows a thing or two about shoes.

That or I could give you the response that I wanted to email back ;

Dear Betts Shoes “Go die in a Fire”

Regards Michelle.

New Years Resolutions Schmezolutions ..


1. Lose Weight

2. Stop Smoking

3. Stop Drinking

4.  Become Financially stable

5. Stay away from undesirable male persons.

The List  could go on.  Also ignore the above list. I am.

Also before you continue and correct my disrespect for the English Language I know I made up Schmezolutions , Im hoping it catches on for Twenty One Two (HOW SICK OF THAT ARE YOU ALREADY FOR GODS SAKE!) .

So many people see the New Year as a time to wipe the slate clean, have a fresh start, Buck up their ideas and get their shit together, I think its grand they do that each to their own . But I refuse to.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not raining on your parade if you’re one of the New Year’s Resolution Hoarders, But how often do we make these resolutions and then never follow through.

I’ve seen it.

I’ve seen the unused hired out Gym Equipment in apartments that not even a fucking Gerbil should be living in, let alone a couple who feel the need to consume cardboard flavoured cereal with a side of stomach bacteria accomapanied by a decafe weak soy latte with a splash of wheat grass. These remain untouched and in reality only make for the creation of amusing Youtube clips of the cat  running on it at full speed.

I’ve also seen the now “Non-Smokers” sneak around the corner and say ” Go on don’t tell anyone” then expect you the person who made the RIGHT decision (Even if it was for the sanity of others around you)  to ‘Bum’ them a cigarette.

ALCOHOL. WINE. BEER. VODKA. SCOTCH and GIN, To name a few. The Devil in Disguise is always going to get you. Especially if your one of “those” people who go out for  a ‘Quiet’ drink and the next day find some hairy backed mammoth in your bed, bruises in unexplainable  regions on your person and a pool of what can only be described as LAST NIGHTS KEBAB or something similar on your bathroom floor. Maybe quitting isn’t for you, how about trying out the term Moderation before you practise the art of Quitting.

Saving money is a serious Art form . I am incapable of doing this. If you can do this I applaud you. If you are male and can do this , I double applaud you.  I also want your phone number ……

Last Point MALE DOUCHEBAGS . There are so many to choose from, I’ve been there and done that as you are all well aware and so many of my Girlfriends have, along with the Blokes who go out with the Female equivalant.

It’s always going to happen. You can’t make a resolution to avoid  rubbish members of the opposite sex.

You have to kiss a lot of Frogs to find a prince.

So there will be no New Year Resolutions from me this year.

Just More Blogging.

Mr Just About Right…


So I met this Boy a while back … He’s Attractive, Smart, Endearing and Just about all those other qualities that you could pick in a guy if you had the choice.
He could be Mr Right.

But he’s not.

He’s Mr Just About Right.

He was here and now he’s not. That what makes him Mr Just About Right.

Seriously Distance is a Fucker. Distance in Australia is a total Fucker.
Also I know he will read this as he kind of fumbled and found my blog then queried as to why he isn’t in it.
Just a little bit awkward turtle.

Ok Thats enough for today …

Office Conversations


Work Colleague 1 : “Oh, I have lots of Male friends who I go out with”

Work Colleague 2: “Oh yeah, my girlfriend does as well, but she doesn’t really ever go out with them”

Me : “I have quite a few male friends, but I dont really go out with them anymore.”

Work Colleague 1 : ” Why’s that?”

Me : ” Because their wives don’t like me.”

Girl Conversations 2


Elizabeth Taylor died yesterday.

I had two friends over last night  over for wine when we found out, the conversation went like this :

Me: “OH Elizabeth Taylor Died”

Friend 1 :  “Oh really? At least she will be with Michael Jackson now.”

Friend 1: “Talking about dead people, Isn’t Zsa Zsa Gabor dead too? “

Me : “No, She’s alive and …… well not kicking as she only has one leg”.

Conversations With Mum.


After having a rather tiresome and extremely crapola week, I went out to dinner with my Mother last night. Yesterday Proved to be the worst day of my week. In her attempt to make me feel better this was part of the conversation with my Mother.

Me : “This week has seriously been the worst week Ive had in a long time”

Mum : “Why”

Me : “I can’t seem to do anything right, You know its that saying – Shit Happens”

Mum: ” Yes well they say that but then again you never expect Diarrhoea do you?’