A little bit of This "n" That

Archive for the ‘2013’ Category

Dear Betts Shoes


Today I received an email from Betts Shoes of which in the subject line was the following :

Dear Michelle, Say “I Do” in the perfect pair of shoes.

I posted the below on their Facebook page.

Dear Betts Shoes.

I’m writing to you on here as I am unable to reply to your automated newsletter in email format that I just received. Primarily about how you really need to re-engage with your consumers, including working on your demographic when sending out Marketing emails that are clearly outlined for specific individuals in mind.

This brings us to basic PR 101 – “Know Your Target Market” Which I hate to tell you, but you failed. As a single woman, receiving and email where in the subject line it reads “Michelle Say “I Do’ in the perfect pair of shoes, I’m offended.

Your email marketing strategy presumes that everyone in your email list is getting married.

What if I were Gay ? You do know Betts Shoes, that under Australian Legislation Gay Marriage is Illegal, but then again you could send out an email about Glitter shoes and that might make me feel better.

What if my Partner had just died?  Tough luck so it seems from your end, and also I’d be pretty stuffed as your selection of all black shoes for the funeral just really doesn’t measure up anyway.

What if I just got divorced? Actually I’d either be celebrating or I’d burst into tears because the thought of marriage would just make me ugly cry (Actually you could then send the glitter shoes email to me as well).

What if I were single? This is not a What If? This is the case, I am single, I’m not in a relationship and I’m not getting married.

Do yourself a favour – get someone in who knows a little bit about marketing, and not isolating your key consumer base rather than someone who only knows a thing or two about shoes.

That or I could give you the response that I wanted to email back ;

Dear Betts Shoes “Go die in a Fire”

Regards Michelle.

Body Clock’s a Ticking …


I talk to my Mum every day, when I can. If I miss a day then we end up just having a longer conversation next time.  This week we chatted about our weekends, who we saw and what we did. Pretty standard really.

Once I had hung up the phone, I thought more deeply about the conversation I’d just had with her. My Mum had spent her weekend visiting friends who all have kids around my age.

Who all have their own kids.

The emphasis on other people’s children seemed to be the spotlight in the conversation, along with her telling me that another one of the girls is also looking at trying for a baby. Then the conversation extended to their fertility and how there was a clock ticking for this couple.

The pressure to get married and have children is ongoing.  You constantly feel that you need an answer to all questions about your personal life choices.  The buck doesn’t stop with family and friends either. Recently it has extended to advertisers pitching consumer based products and guilt shaming women about their own personal body clocks. That the choices we didn’t make in our 20’s are now reflective of us being old wrinklies staving the growth of the world population. Along with articles that preach out about women choosing not to go down these paths because their careers are more important.

A general  “I don’t want to have children” Or “I don’t want to get married” still doesn’t suffice to those who can’t seem to keep their noses out of other people’s business. These people are the ones ask you,  “But why don’t you want to get married?” “Why don’t you want to have children?”.  Anyone would think you’ve just bitten the head off a live chicken in front of them by the reaction then received.

Before asking these questions, one good option is to think before opening your mouth. What’s to say that the person you are having the discussion with hasn’t had a termination due to extenuating circumstances, or if in a couple they aren’t financially in a situation that they can foresee making these decisions , or infertility is a key part in why this doesn’t happen. That the response they have just given you is an easier answer than the potentially convoluted option, which would only result in making the  person asking the question feel ridiculously uncomfortable.

Recently while out with two girlfriends they began talking about babies. One has been married for just over 18 months and is currently trying to have children, and the other is in her second trimester of pregnancy.

They told me, “ You would make an amazing mother.” Very flattered that I clearly ooze responsibility and a maternal nature. I just smiled. Then out of nowhere my pregnant friend said, “What about your Mum?”

“What about my mum ?”  Is it part of our life journey to have babies to ensure our own parents fulfillment at becoming grandparents is achieved?

I for one wouldn’t get knocked up just so my parents could have a new plaything.

When did these answers become something that we need to justify to others?

To make matters worse, my life choices now also need to be backed up by my parents.

I feel for my mum, being one of the only ones among her circle of friends to have two single daughters in their thirties, both unmarried and childless. I know that she would make an outstanding Grandmother and at times I believe she would even be happy if either of us at this stage just came out and said that we were expecting.

But the thing I love most about my mum is that she wants us to be happy more than anything in the world and her acceptance of our lifestyle choices is what makes her a great woman.

 

The Guyaitus


Yes well.                                                                                                                                                                                hiatus

Here we go. A Guyaitus is a made up term that my lovely friend the wrybride came up with after we chatted about the fact I have decided to go on a Man Hiatus.

Actually my best friend and I have decided to go on this Man Hiatus together. No, this does not mean we are going to turn suddenly into lesbian lovers (Even though this was a question asked a few Friday Nights back whilst we were out followed closely by “If you end up scissoring can we watch? ” ).

Please be reminded before you start to add some witty comment and call me a “Man Hater,” I in actual fact do not hate men in the slightest.  I just need a break from the bullshit.

The “Guyaitus” has resulted to recently poor choices within the males species department that we both seem to continually make.

It’s not a one off, seriously IT’S THE SAME THING EVERYTIME.

EVERYTIME.

Douchecanoes in disguise as Prince Charmings.

The last one oozed the charm, I’m talking it fell out of him quicker than a mudslide in India, and more fool me I believed every single word of it. That player basically won the gold prize in playing and I the gold in “Most gullible idiot in the world”.

No call. No Text . No Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  I’m guessing  he got the milk for free and decided it was too much hassle to hang on to the cow.

I admit I’m definitely not perfect, actually I can be a right bitch, but that’s a rarity. At least if I decide I don’t want to see you anymore I have the common courtesy to do it to your face in a public place . The reactions are always a surprise though the last one consisted of this:

Me: “So I can’t do this anymore”

Him: “ What, Stay out ? Do you want to go home?”

Me: “No. This, Us, whatever this is I can’t do this, I’ve had enough” .

Fair enough, Yes ?  Apparently not.

When questioned about what I was then off to do for the rest of the night I replied I wasn’t sure….

His reply “ Well, I’m going to sink a few more scotches and now that I’m out I may as well pick up”

Classy.

Who the fuck says that.  Boys. That’s who says that. Defensive boys who can’t handle the way of the grown ups.

You are probably thinking that my “Guyaitus” is based currently upon these two things, when in actual fact this has been an ongoing thing for around the past 18 months.

It’s actually trying and a little self destroying at times to think that the only men you find yourself with an interest in are the rather good looking ones who happened to have not received a self conscious when they were dropped upon the earth and their brains were wrongly inserted into the end of their dicks.

So for now the Guyaitus continues, until the option of not settling fades and the knight in shining armour rocks up.