For years I have always been that person that says yes to everything. I’ve always been that person that answers their phone as soon as it rings.
I’ve also been that person to automatically reply to your email or text message. I’ve also always been that person that will try to come to everything that you ask me to go too (except letter openings – I’ll leave those to some of the lovely Z List celebrities kicking around Perth).
However, I’ve also discovered that there just aren’t that many people around that take the time to do the same thing in return these days. As we get older we tend to look at prioritizing our lives for the better compared to what we did when we were younger. That was when there definitely was a FOMO before the term FOMO even existed. We were always keen to attempt to please all the people all the time. So if they don’t do it, then why should I? I guess it was because I felt obligated to more than anything.
Admittedly, I just don’t have the time or the energy anymore. I’ve realised saying no isn’t a bad thing. You can say No, and nothing else. You don’t have to give a back-up excuse as to why you don’t want to go out, why you didn’t reply automatically to a message, unless it’s a case of life or death then that and if it’s your mum should be the only time you need to be getting back to the person in question.
Rushing around trying to attend every invited event, answer every call and reply to every message can cause your brain to start to melt a little. Worrying about others opinions, dramas and issues WILL indefinitely bring you down. Setting a high standard of expectations where you believe, just because you do it everyone else should do the same needs to be completely shelved.
In our attempt (well for some of us) to do all the aforementioned, we forget what the real questions here are – Are we happy? Probably not. Are we doing these things and running around after others and validating them because it pleases us? Again, probably not. Is the instant response really what everyone is looking for? Those who break down because you take a few hours to get back to them on a general message need to take some time also to look at what their priorities are.
Just let it out; Be straight-forward and honest with everyone that wants a piece of your time. There is only one of you and your own happiness is the key here.
Be Selfish. I’m really relishing this right now. I make time for those who make time for me. For those who respect that the paths I’m looking to choose are right for me, not for them. Those who the only time that they can really contribute or comment on what I am doing with my time, my career and other life choices should be if it directly affects them. These people will not get offended if I take some time, within reason to reply, because they too understand that our own time is precious and there is just the one of us to go around.
I’m putting this out there really as a note to let you know if I do take my time it’s probably because I’m taking time for myself first, which is the way that it should be.