A little bit of This "n" That


So, this was one of the online dating attempts.

He listed himself as 31, loved an adventure , had traveled a lot – looking for a relationship. Also he was pretty attractive . We’ve been talking for nearly two weeks (Apparently in the online dating world that falls into the same way as my gay friends discussing being in relationships – like OMG THAT’S FOREVER), and in that context I’m saying within two hours of chatting online he dropped me his number and we spoke ON THE PHONE EVERYDAY for the past two weeks. He was very smart, witty, and had a slight touch of arrogance of which I am unfortunately partial.  (I possibly think this is where I’m going wrong).

One thing I kind of listened to but never really paid attention about was he constantly talked about his house / houses/ holiday houses ( how many houses do you actually need. Also money talk, discussions of taste in certain things that really only someone yet again with a lot of cash would have and also him telling me he only flies Business Class. I know I said I didn’t pay attention , I did but honestly I wasn’t sure if he was trying to impress me or if this was just part of the arrogance.

I’ve had a friend from overseas staying with me from Monday until Thursday morning so I had put him off catching up – as you know “bros before hoes” and not because I have some serious body disfigurement that I hadn’t told him about. Until yesterday, we had mentioned something about possibly catching up on Thursday – however as no plans were made, I made alternative ones to see one of my closest friends and have baby hang outs, bake cakes and eat pizza. (I can be very normal at times). He then messaged me at 4pm asking what I was doing and if I wanted to go out. I told him that I had made plans already and technically he wasn’t part of those. For which he then messaged another three times trying to work out a way to still catch up. Then called me. I gave in. Keen as mustard he was. And I gave in. Which involved him telling me he would pick me up at 8.45 ,on the dot which I agreed I could do.

Well I could half do – I still ended up looking like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards, however as he had said let’s go to the casino for a few drinks gamble chat etc I was like OK , that’s alright I could be casual about this as I’ve basically spent the equivalent of two working days non-stop chatter with this guy.We got there and immediately went to the sports bar – beer was bought and the cricket was on (I like the cricket by the way, technically this should have gained me a few gold stars yes?) Chat got into different things talking about places to go for dinner food as you do. He then proceeded to tell me he was allergic to peanuts, and celery and carrots, and avocado and crustaceans , the list went on.

(Looking back I wish I had eaten a shit tonne of peanut M&M’s before I went out).

It was my round of drinks (I’m very liberated).
He orders Grey Goose and Redbull. $32 for two drinks.
THIRTY TWO FUCKING DOLLARS AND IT WASN’T EVEN A COCKTAIL.

But I still bought it. Then we decided to go for a gamble – and he walks straight to the posh room in the casino – I looked at him and was like “So how many body parts do I have to sell to gamble in here” he laughed as if I was joking – I was downright serious. I reckon I probably needed to cut off at least a leg including a thigh to get a good throw-down on the tables.We got free booze though. So that’s ok I guess.

After this we went off to get another drink and were having a chat when he started to ask more questions like “How long have you been single” Discussions about how I discovered one time I had been cheated on and that had never happened ever – he looked at me weird and asked if I had ever done that and I said no, why would you. If you‘re unhappy you finish it – you don’t go fishing somewhere else. Again another weird look, you know that kind of weird look when you’re telling them answer and you can see they actually have done that before .

I’m super honest I used to have this funny joke and it was a joke with my ex long term boyfriend (Not the cheater) that was he would ask me a question and I would jokingly say “ Do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?” I always tell the truth to dudes, what’s the point in lying (Unless it’s about the $300 Shoes of Prey Heels you bought with the joint bank account) or telling them what they want to hear , because that too in itself doesn’t mean a thing if you constantly just tell that person what they want to hear to keep them happy . ( I know full on )

Anyway getting back on track he still remained a little off – but was said let’s go back to the tables and I needed to go to the ATM (I was losing cash like there was no tomorrow with my $5 chips) so he went to the bathroom I went to the ATM, then came back to find him at the chocolate wheel losing.

As we went to walk off from there I asked – “Ok ,where are we going now”
His reply “ Home”
At 10.30.
I came out on a Thursday night for a whole hour and a fucking half.
I said “Well that’s a bit ridiculous, an hour and a half, but fine.”
Then he replies “Actually No, I’m not going home I’m going to stay. You have to go”
Right.
Then he says “To be honest with you, I actually don’t see this ever going anywhere, so I’m going to stay here “
I looked at him “Actually I think you are right, I’m getting a cab”
And I left.

An hour after getting home I get a text.
“Life is good Michelle. You remember that ;)”

HE PUT A WINKY FACE.

Not a “Did you get home OK ? Or did the cab driver drop you in a gutter?”
I forgot to mention he dropped into conversation half way through the date he had been a Young Liberal and voted for Abbott.
See I should have learnt and been the person to leave at that point.
He shall now be named “Casino Wanker”

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Comments on: "The Big Bad World of Dating : Edition One" (1)

  1. Woah…what the hell O.o What a dick!

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