Here we go. A Guyaitus is a made up term that my lovely friend the wrybride came up with after we chatted about the fact I have decided to go on a Man Hiatus.
Actually my best friend and I have decided to go on this Man Hiatus together. No, this does not mean we are going to turn suddenly into lesbian lovers (Even though this was a question asked a few Friday Nights back whilst we were out followed closely by “If you end up scissoring can we watch? ” ).
Please be reminded before you start to add some witty comment and call me a “Man Hater,” I in actual fact do not hate men in the slightest. I just need a break from the bullshit.
The “Guyaitus” has resulted to recently poor choices within the males species department that we both seem to continually make.
It’s not a one off, seriously IT’S THE SAME THING EVERYTIME.
Douchecanoes in disguise as Prince Charmings.
The last one oozed the charm, I’m talking it fell out of him quicker than a mudslide in India, and more fool me I believed every single word of it. That player basically won the gold prize in playing and I the gold in “Most gullible idiot in the world”.
No call. No Text . No Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m guessing he got the milk for free and decided it was too much hassle to hang on to the cow.
I admit I’m definitely not perfect, actually I can be a right bitch, but that’s a rarity. At least if I decide I don’t want to see you anymore I have the common courtesy to do it to your face in a public place . The reactions are always a surprise though the last one consisted of this:
Me: “So I can’t do this anymore”
Him: “ What, Stay out ? Do you want to go home?”
Me: “No. This, Us, whatever this is I can’t do this, I’ve had enough” .
Fair enough, Yes ? Apparently not.
When questioned about what I was then off to do for the rest of the night I replied I wasn’t sure….
His reply “ Well, I’m going to sink a few more scotches and now that I’m out I may as well pick up”
Who the fuck says that. Boys. That’s who says that. Defensive boys who can’t handle the way of the grown ups.
You are probably thinking that my “Guyaitus” is based currently upon these two things, when in actual fact this has been an ongoing thing for around the past 18 months.
It’s actually trying and a little self destroying at times to think that the only men you find yourself with an interest in are the rather good looking ones who happened to have not received a self conscious when they were dropped upon the earth and their brains were wrongly inserted into the end of their dicks.
So for now the Guyaitus continues, until the option of not settling fades and the knight in shining armour rocks up.