A little bit of This "n" That

The Talk.

So you’ve been seeing someone for a while now and you are in the state of mind of trying to work out exactly where you stand.

Is it a casual fling with the occasional public appearance or is it going to turn into that fairytale you always wanted it to be when you were little and the Knight comes riding in on his white stallion to rescue  you and take you away to his castle and live happily ever after?

How do you even begin to start the conversation?

Soooo where do you see “this” going?

Isn’t really a conversation started as it will sometimes make the whole situation seem rather uncomfortable and for all you know you could get not much further than a “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” or a “Maybe we should just stay friends with the occasional benefit”

 In reality it was easier when we were younger to have that fling with no meaning or to have a casual thing going on as you weren’t really in the frame of mind to think “Jesus, my body clock is ticking and I may want to get married and have children.”

 This is something that makes it even more difficult when you’re approaching your 30th year and all men you meet must think that you want to nail them down spawn their children and commitment them to a lifetime of marriage .

 I’m at the stage where the talk really is going to have to occur rather quickly, but the only time I seem to have the balls to discuss it is when I’ve had a wine or ten and then at that point the boy just finds it rather amusing and we avoid the subject and continue with our much desired extra-curricular activities like we have been doing so for the past two months.

 Do we honestly want a title?

Does the talk mean you can then go and have conversations with other people and say “Well My Boyfriend…” instead of Man-friend, Plaything, FB or “The guy I’m seeing…” so its all official and you feel important and therefore more down with the kids that currently surround you who are popping out babies getting married or have been in relationships since Adam and Eve ate that destructive apple.

 What classifications do we have to fall into to define our relationship with “that” person who currently inhibits our lives and gives us butterflies when they call, or when you see them or even if they just gently squeeze your hand out in public to give you a bit of reassurance that they are with you?

 The attempt to have this conversation for me will continue this weekend….. Fingers crossed  x


Comments on: "The Talk." (6)

  1. Nice work Soia – good luck [crosses fingers] Happy Valentine’s x

  2. I hope it goes well for you … my last conversation of that sort didn’t end that well … it was my fault. I changed my Facebook relationship status and then talked to her …. it went to crap.

  3. That is a difficult one, I can but try to give a form of opinion/ advice, but with Chrissie and I, we were just on the same page and kind of wanted the same things, so the talk never really happened, it just kind of happened.

    If you want to ask the questions while not directly asking the questions, maybe discuss things around the topic of moving it to a serious level and guage his reactions. eg: the topic of maybe moving in together? Talk about more couply things, instead of dicussing when you will be going out as 2 people to see friends, talk about going out as a couple to see other couples?
    Just edge towards that subject of being exclusive and serious with each other and see if you are on the same page?

    The other way would be to get this guy to meet another one of your guy friends who may be in a serious relationship and get him to talk with your guy about couple things and try to get some info out of him?

  4. CarlyMayCarnage said:

    You should ask Mal about all the times he tried to have ‘the talk’ with me. I was like nooooooooo! I was determined to keep things casual, both of us having JUST come out of long-term and quite destructive relationships, plus Mal had already been engaged TWICE before, so I used to call him the ‘serial engager’ and be worried he suffered from some kind of mental issue where he felt the need to get married all the time.

    Cut to over 7 years later, and I dont think we every really did have the talk… we just kind of settled into a pattern and here we are (although my moving in with him all those years ago probably constituted most of ‘the talk’ anyways).

    Glad to hear you and your man are now ‘official’ though, hope this makes you feel happier about the relationship.

    • I know exactly where you are coming from, especially as the last long term relationship that i had we had moved in togehter after three months , we never really had the talk so it was just kind of progression in that case.
      This time it was different but he made it so easy which is such a relief 🙂

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